“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

For Christian parents, these words from Paul strike both as an encouragement and a sobering charge. In an age that prizes self-expression and autonomy above all else, the call to raise children in the fear and admonition of the Lord may seem not only countercultural but almost impossible. Yet for the believer—particularly those shaped by the Reformed Baptist tradition—it is a calling that cannot be abandoned. It is a covenant responsibility and a profound act of worship.

This feature article explores what it means to raise children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, drawing from Scripture, historical Reformed thought, and practical wisdom for the modern Christian household.

Understanding the Command: Fear and Admonition Defined

Paul’s charge in Ephesians 6:4 encapsulates two central elements: nurture (or “discipline”) and admonition (instruction or warning). Both are aimed not at producing well-behaved children for society’s sake, but at shepherding young hearts toward God.

The fear of the Lord is not a terror that drives one from God but a reverent awe that draws one near, desiring to honor and obey Him in all things. The admonition of the Lord refers to instruction rooted in His Word, guiding children to know, love, and follow Christ.

In other words, parenting is discipleship. The home is the first and most formative church a child will experience.

The Covenant Context of Parenting

Reformed theology situates parenting within the covenantal promises of God. As the London Baptist Confession of 1689 articulates, God “is pleased to make known His covenant of grace to believers and their seed” (paraphrased). While salvation is never inherited biologically, children of believers are set apart within the covenant community (1 Corinthians 7:14) and thus must be raised with the gospel ever before them.

This covenantal framework gives parents both hope and responsibility. Hope, because God works through families to call generations to Himself. Responsibility, because parents must be faithful stewards of these precious souls.

The Reformed Distinctives in Parenting

1. The Sovereignty of God in Salvation

Reformed parents recognize that no amount of discipline or catechism can regenerate a child’s heart. Salvation is of the Lord (Jonah 2:9). This truth relieves parents of the crushing burden to “produce” Christians. Yet it does not absolve them from diligently planting and watering gospel seeds.

Our role is to provide the means—prayer, instruction, example—and to trust God with the outcome.

2. The Authority of Scripture

Sola Scriptura applies in parenting too. Cultural trends and pop psychology must bow to the timeless truth of God’s Word. Scripture, not sentimentality or pragmatism, must guide our discipline, priorities, and expectations.

Practical Applications for Raising Children in the Lord

Family Worship: The Heart of the Home

Reformed families throughout history have practiced daily family worship. Puritan homes were often described as “little churches.” This practice includes:

• Reading Scripture Together: Expose children to the whole counsel of God.
• Prayer: Model dependence on the Lord.
• Singing Psalms and Hymns: Teach theology through song.

These rhythms communicate to children that Christ is not an occasional Sunday guest but the very center of life.

Catechizing the Young Mind

Catechisms, like the Baptist Catechism or the Westminster Shorter Catechism, provide a framework for teaching children sound doctrine. Simple Q&A formats engage young minds and implant truth deeply.

Question: Who made you? Answer: God made me.

Such simplicity lays a foundation that will support their faith in years to come.

Discipline as Discipleship

Biblical discipline is not punitive but restorative. Proverbs reminds us that “he that loveth [his son] chasteneth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24). Discipline should reflect God’s character: firm yet patient, just yet merciful.

Parents must guard against provoking their children to anger through inconsistent or harsh treatment (Ephesians 6:4). Correction must always point them back to the gospel.

Modeling the Gospel in Everyday Life

Children learn as much from what we do as what we say. Do they see parents quick to repent? Do they witness love, patience, and joy in our marriages and church life?

The home becomes a living apologetic for the gospel—or a contradiction of it.

Challenges in a Post-Christian Culture

Cultural Pressures

Parents today contend with ideologies that challenge biblical sexuality, authority, and truth itself. Teaching children to love God’s Word and stand firm will require intentional counter-formation.

Busyness and Distraction

Modern schedules often leave little room for spiritual priorities. Parents must ruthlessly evaluate commitments, ensuring that soccer practice does not crowd out family worship.

Technology’s Influence

Screen time and online influences shape hearts. Parents must shepherd their children’s digital lives with vigilance, guiding them to use technology for God’s glory.

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Encouragement for Weary Parents

Parenting is sanctifying. It exposes our weaknesses and drives us to Christ. But we are not alone. God’s grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). His Spirit equips us for the task.

Remember: the same gospel you hold out to your children is for you too. Your failures are not final. Keep pressing on.

A Legacy of Faith

Raising children in the fear and admonition of the Lord is more than behavior modification. It is about shaping hearts to treasure Christ above all. As Psalm 78 exhorts:

“That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children.” (Psalm 78:6)

This is the vision: a lineage of faithfulness, families ablaze with the knowledge of God, children who rise to declare His works to a lost world.

Faithfulness Over Fruitfulness

In the end, the call is to faithfulness, not results. God alone gives the increase. Parents sow and water with prayerful diligence, trusting the Lord of the harvest.

“Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.” (Psalm 127:1)

Raise your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Teach them, pray for them, disciple them, and trust the God who loves them more than you ever could.

This is the legacy worth leaving. This is the pure religion that transforms generations.